Introduction : Pre-Canna : Marriage Preparation Course

 Introduction to Pre Cana: 

  Pre Cana lessons are very important to the success of any marriage. It is so important to remember that communication and openness is critical to a couple’s ability to have a sound marriage. There is no subject which is out of bounds concerning marriage, a couple's unconditional love to each other is the basic foundation along with complete honesty. Each person should be willing to accept the person they are marrying as they are, with both being committed to being the best possible person they can be and always being open and willing to improve on their shortcomings. Patience with one another is another key element, as well as forgiveness for hurtful offences and negative behaviors, of which must be reconciled with a true heartfelt sincerity making amends for any such offensive or unacceptable behaviors. 

  There will be instances when a couple may have been living together for several years as if they were married. In such circumstances discuss the situation with your priest or bishop and reach a mutual agreement, that of which may be the best approach regarding Pre Cana lessons. It is our fundamental responsibility to the couple to provide them with a sound basis for a wonderful married life together.

“Love means you never have to say you’re sorry”, it is not a pretext or an open invitation or permission to harm or cause injury to your marriage or partner. A commitment to love and cherish each other to the best of one’s ability is fundamental and basic to a loving relationship. Each couple should realize that marriage is a lifetime commitment and should be willing to put forth the effort to lay the foundation for a successful life together.

  When a couple approaches the church requesting to be married, they should have been dating for a minimum of at least eight months to a year before beginning Pre Cana classes. In the best of these circumstances, they will have been exploring and getting to know one another during this time period. 

Each Pre Cana class totally requires honesty regarding all aspects of their relationship and answering the questions in the classes to the best of their ability. If either party to the marriage is dishonest or does not disclose to one another their true feelings, then the marriage will be fundamentally flawed and destined to failure from the very beginning. 

  The Pre Cana course consists of between 8 to 10 weeks of Classes. In some instances, they can go longer if certain problems or challenges are discovered during the classes. It is the Priest or Deacon’s responsibility to provide a comfortable, guided, discovering type atmosphere, by posing the questions and listening closely to the couple. Each assignment is to be done independent of each other and then handed to the Priest or Deacon for review, and then the couple will discuss with their counselor, their responses to the course  questions together in confidence. It is important that the couple talk openly and honestly.

  In the event during the classes, it becomes evident that the couple have considerable differences or are unwilling to answer the questions, the minister may point out that more work is required on the couple's communication skills and or their genuine openness to discussing relationship topics. If after continuing counseling sessions with them either one or both parties seem or in fact remain persistent with unacceptable behaviors which are not fundamentally aligned, then your pre-cana counselor may have no other choice but to either recommend they take more time before pursuing marriage and come back at a later agreed upon date. If that is not acceptable by the couple, then your pre-cana counselor may kindly recommend that the couple seek professional counseling or a different clergy member who may not require the rigorous work experience that has taught our church what is required for a successful marriage.

  Our Pre Cana classes have resulted in an 85% success rate, so we do have the data to support our requirements for the completion of the lessons prior to the marriage. It is important that when couples approach the church in which they wish to be married, they understand we are not a marriage factory and that we consider the sacrament of holy matrimony a very serious sacramental commitment. There are many other clergy and secular individuals who are legally authorized to marry couples but to be married in the Holy Catholic Church; Pre-Cana is required. 

  Remember, your counselor to a large degree is a facilitator and monitor guiding two loving people toward a wonderful and long-lasting relationship built upon openness and truth. Most couples are happy and anxious to talk about their loving relationship. 

As you progress through the lessons each person understands they are to work separately on their own lessons prior to the next pre canna class. During each lesson equal attention will be given to each party’s response to the questions. In those instances when either individual has chosen not to respond to a question, your pre-cana facilitator will ask why there was no response and if you have a reason not to respond, or if there is something else you would like to share in light of not responding to the question (s) during the meeting.

  Some lessons are much more informative and generate more discussion than others do.  You, the couple will set the pace. If time runs out before all questions have been covered for the scheduled meeting time, then all the couple's unanswered responses will then be saved until the next lesson. The pace at which a couple moves through the material is totally an individual thing. the couple sets the pace unless it becomes evident that they are simply providing premeditated answers designed to shorten or circumvent the open and honest communication necessary to create a sound basis for a successful marriage, then the facilitator will spend extra time with you, essentially extending the prescribed course duration. 

God Bless You, Fr. Michael, Pastor.   

Sacred Heart Holy Catholic Church Inc.