Welcome to SacredHeartHCC.Com Church

  Introduction to Pre Cana:

Pre Cana lessons are basic and very important to the success for any marriage. It is important to remember that communication and openness is critical to a couple’s ability to have a sound marriage. There is no subject which is out of bounds concerning marriage. Of unconditional love is basic along with honesty. Each person should be willing to accept the person they are marrying as they are with both being committed to being the best possible person they can be and always willing to improve on their shortcomings. Patience with one another is another key element as well as forgiveness for offences behaviors coupled with a sincerity to amend any offensive or unacceptable behaviors. 

There will be instances when a couple may have been living together for several years as if they were married. In such circumstances discuss the situation with you bishop and reach an agreement which may be the best approach regard Pre Cana lessons. It is our fundamental responsibility to the couple to provide them with a sound basis for a wonderful life together.

“Love means you never have to say your sorry”, is not a pretext or an open invitation or permission to harm of cause injury to your marriage partner. A commitment to love and cherish each other to the best of one’s ability is fundamental and basic to a loving relationship.

Each couple should realize that marriage is a lifetime commitment and should be willing to put for the effort to lay the foundation for a successful life together.

When a couple approaches the church requesting to be married, they should have been dating minimally for at least eight months to a year before beginning Pre Cana classes. In the best of circumstances, they will have been exploring and getting to know one another during this period. Hopefully, the couple has abstained from sexual activity. While this may not be the case because of the changing of acceptable social behaviors they should be made aware during early Pre Cana classes that physical sexual relations can affect one’s true perception of the person they are intending to marry. 

Each Pre Cana class totally requires honesty regarding all aspect of their relationship and answering the questions in the classes to the best of their ability. If either party to the marriage is dishonest or does not disclose to one another their true feelings, then the marriage will be fundamentally flawed from the very beginning. 

The Pre Cana course consists of between 8 to 10 weeks of Classes. In some instances, they can go longer if certain problems or challenges are discovered during the classes. It is the Priest/Deacon’s responsibility to provide a comfortable guided discover atmosphere by posing the questions and listening to the couple. Each assignment is to be done independent of each other and then handed to the Priest/Deacon and then you are to discuss their responses to the questions with both. It is important not provide you opinion rather allow the couple to talk openly.

In the event during the classes that it becomes evident that the couple have considerable differences or are unwilling to answer the questions as their minister you should point out that they need to work on their communication skills and openness to discussing relationship topics. If after continuing counseling sessions with them either one or both parties seem or in fact remain persistent in their behaviors which directly opposite, then you may have no other choice but to either recommend they take more time before pursuing marriage and come back at a later agreed upon timeframe. If that is not acceptable, then kindly recommend that they seek professional counseling or different clergy who may not require the rigorous work experience has taught our church which is required for a successful marriage.

Our Pre Cana classes have resulted in an 85% success rate, so we do have the data to support our requirement for the completion of the lessons prior to the marriage. It is important that when individuals approach the church in which they wish to be married, they understand we are not a marriage factory and consider the sacrament holy and very serious commitment. There are many other clergy and secular individuals who are legally authorized to marry couples but to be married in the Holy Catholic Church Pre Cana is required. 

When meeting with couples is important to remain neutral during their discussions. It is totally appropriate to argument the discussions with questions that will keep the discussion going as long as they in compliance to a neutral perspective. Both parties need to feel you are supportive of their relationship. Let them continue the discussion of the topic unless their discussion gets off point. It may be time to move to another topic in the pre cana lessons. 

Remember to a large degree you are a facilitator and monitor guiding two loving people toward a wonderful and long-lasting relationship built upon openness and truth. Most couples are happy and anxious to talk about their loving relationship. It is important that as clergy you listen carefully to their discussions and make note of not just each participant is saying but also how it is being said. The tone of voice physical posture, facial expressions are all clues to a person’s true intent of the opinion they are sharing. 

As you progress through the lessons make sure that each person understands they are to work separately on their own lessons prior to the next pre cana class. During each lesson equal attention should be given to each parity’s response to the question. In those instances where they chose not to respond to a question it worth the time to ask why there was no response and if they have something to share during the meeting.

Some lessons are much more informative and generate more discussion that others. Let them set the pace if time runs out before you have covered all their responses then save until the next lesson. The pace at which a couple moves through the material is totally an individual thing. Let them set the pace unless it becomes evident that they are simply providing premeditated answers designed to shorten or circumvent the open and honest communication necessary to create a sound basis for a successful marriage.  God Bless You, Fr. Michael, Pastor, Sacred Heart Holy Catholic Church Inc.